Hello to all my faithful readers and maybe even those who are new. If you are new to my blog, welcome!! I’ve been blogging for a long time now, but I have to remind myself how therapeutic writing is for me, plus it gives people a snippet into who I am… and all situations… the bad, the good, and the ugly. Anyway, on with the update.
There’s been a lot within the past months that has gone on. First and foremost, I am no longer taking Baking and Pastry Arts Management. I will say though, in spite of it all, I got people to see that even in a wheelchair, it still can be done. The only reason I withdrew was the decorating classes were causing me migraines, and I’d usually have a five hour lab the same day. It just made it so difficult. I was sad to withdraw, but I told it to my awesome team at Farmasi, and they really helped me see that maybe it isn’t quite the right fit for me, and to not push my health. Since I’ve joined with them, I’ve gained more perspective on things, and confidence as well which has truly helped!!
I also have awesome news, even though it is a struggle at the moment… I have a puppy!!!! Her name is Andrea!! I ended up getting her through a good friend of mine, and her previous situation was absolute crap!! I absolutely love her colours!!! When I first met her, as much as she was walk amongst her brothers and sisters, she often came to lie down by my chair, which is what sealed the deal!!!! I always thought that if I ever had a child, I’d name her Andrea. That’s my birth name. Since I don’t have a child, however, a fur child is the next best thing!!!!
I will say, I am grateful to Steven for his help with her!!
Anyway, that’s enough for one post.
I will write again soon.
In the meantime, here’s a picture of Andrea and I.
I want to wish everyone a happy new year!!! I also want to make this year a “wow” year!!! Who’s with me?
Firstly, I want to let everyone know that eight new products dropped at Farmasi today!!! New eyeshadows, masks, hairspray, and so much more!!!
I cannot wait to contact bakeries for my field placement this semester!!! It’s going to be an awesome term!!! I have so many goals for 2023 that I can’t wait to get going!!!
Who else has goals for 2023? I cannot wait to hear them!!!
It’s been a bit since I’ve posted, and I feel lyou all deserve a post on what’s happening. I had a busy fall semester in school, and though I didn’t succeed in all the courses I was supposed to finish due to a breakup, but feel much more on my feet now that I’ve given myself time.
I’m continuing Baking and Pastry Arts Management in January, which is both stressful and exciting. I can’t wait to share it with you all as I go in 2023!!
I’ve also been really enjoying a new brand and trying to extend myself out there by not just posting about it, but sharing my life a little more… it all starts here with this blog that I’ve sadly neglected until now, but plan on writing more in 2023!!!
I would like to just share about the brand I’m now a part of that I truly enjoy, and figure you may as well!!! The brand is called Farmasi, and it has so much to offer I can’t even believe it!!! Just giving you a sprinkle, and I’d love to share more with you all!!!
Truly grateful to this company and it is making me want to post more and be more present.
I truly enjoy writing these blogs, just have to remind myself of this!!!
It’s been way too long since I’ve written on this blog of mine. I’ve been completing school this past semester, and also a new relationship. Unfortunately, due to the same lack of communication, and the person whom helped me realize this fact, I am happy to say we considered trying again, since about mid July and still going strong. It’s hard to believe it happened… but here I sit.
I have been crazy busy that this blog has been long vacant. He he… in July/August, I helped out Francis, or Frank as most people call him, including me with the crazy amount of hours he worked at Beyond Vanh Gogh. Crazy how it tired me out… but so worth it. I started school and then started a job at Frank and Oak mid October. That job I miss every day since my last day, December 24th.
I’m very happy, and can’t wait to start school next week! I’m happy to say I am happy with the new relationship and our fresh new start!!! Fresh starts are always good. We were young when we last were in relationship, but now here we are… older and wiser. So happy!
Oh, and I thought to add a little side note, for those who like and enjoy poker, he has streamed exactly that on Twitch and he also has a twitter account mostly devoted to poker, which you’ll find on his page. All in all though, a crazy year!!!
Oh, and for those who like new clothing, check out Frank and Oak!
I can’t believe I’m in my new home now!! I moved this past Wednesday, which means I’ve been here for five days already, today being day number five!!! I have my bed set up, along with my dresser and night table. I’m having to use my night table for art supplies now though, since I only have a one-bedroom.
I’d say the only one major complaint is trying to figure out the best place for my lift, as it’s so huge… not a fan of that, but I need it sometimes… so yeah.
Started actually putting pictures up… and probably today, my CCTV will be set up, so that will be good!!! Even though smaller, I’m so glad I moved!!! I have new memories to make here!!! I’m excited for that!!!
Once things are a bit more organized, I’ll make a post with updated pictures!!!
I’ve been figuring out lately, with help, that I need to get myself out there more, even if it means I may get hurt. My only worry with that, was that if that happened again, I wouldn’t know how to pick myself up from that. Though, if I don’t try, I’ll miss out, so this is what I am learning.
I met two people at a birthday party I went to, and realized very quickly that these people seemed real, genuine, and patient. With them, I actually feel more confident with myself. Interesting how that happens, right?
Since I’ve stared actually getting to know them, I knew I wouldn’t be the only one that would keep this friendship afloat. That’s definitely odd for me, but I like it. Actually, I love it.
Silvana has really boosted my confidence in the outward appearance front. She, and her partner Eric are who I’ve been speaking of. I never thought that maybe perfume, or even makeup (if my skin can tolerate it), could get me out there so much. Apparently so.
I was at the Rideau Centre here in Ottawa, and for some reason, I had MercyMe‘s song, “Hello Beautiful” stuck in my head. I’m not usually one to indulge in perfume, unless it is vanilla. Since I’m starting to gain more confidence, I told myself to think outside my comfort zone. I found three perfumes I liked, Japanese Cherry Blossom, Magic in the Air, and who knew, a perfume called, Hello Beautiful. It was like the song that was stuck in my head was trying to tell me something, so, since there was a deal, I got all three.
Years ago, I wouldn’t have done that. At least, not to this extent. I figured I was confident before, but now I know for sure what *confidence* is. Since then, when I feel like I want to, I wear one, of the three perfumes. And, I actually take the time for myself, even if is just to gain my confidence more.
For example, the day of my friend’s housewarming party, she asked if she could do my hair, and I said sure. That was step one.
Another example, this past Saturday, I went to a Halloween dance with them, and she did my hair again. This time, she curled it. She also, even though she was nervous a little about my skin reacting to it, did my makeup. Her products isn’t react at all. Wait, what? Is this me?
Now I take with pride when I hear, “Hello Beautiful.”
Another thing that contributes to my newly-found self-confidence is a song off of Cimorelli‘s latest album that came out on October 27th, called Sad Girls Club. The actual song I am referring to is called, Pretty Pink. This song literally describes my past life, and the life I’m making for myself.
Hello Beautiful – Lyrics
[Verse 1]
No more
I quit
I’ve had enough
I wasn’t made for this
To all the lies that have tried
To cripple me with doubt
I think it’s time to say goodbye
I know who I am now
Part of me says I’d be
Smart to walk away
But before I leave, I think I need
To call you out by name
[Chorus]
Goodbye regret
Goodbye alone
Goodbye to emptiness
Say hello to beautiful
Goodbye afraid
Goodbye ashamed
Goodbye to hopelessness
Say hello to beautiful
[Verse 2]
Can you hear it
That’s the sound of me walking out
Of this prison cell
That I’ve come to know so well
I used to play the victim, singing
Take these chains from me
But they have long been broken
I was free and would not leave
Somehow I got too comfortable
Locked up here in this prison
That I missed the doors wide open
More like ripped off of its hinges
[Chorus]
Goodbye regret
Goodbye alone
(Goodbye)
Goodbye to emptiness
Say hello to beautiful
(Beautiful)
Goodbye afraid
Goodbye ashamed
Goodbye to hopelessness
Say hello to beautiful
[Verse 3]
Before I go, just so you know
There will come days again
Wrestling not to believe
The things you say I am
When I’ve forgotten what’s inside
And who I’m meant to be
I remember what’s inside
Has not forgotten me
[Chorus]
Goodbye regret
Goodbye alone
Goodbye to emptiness
Say hello to beautiful
Goodbye afraid
Goodbye ashamed
Goodbye to hopelessness
Say hello to beautiful
(To beautiful)
[Amy]
There’s more to you than the fact that you’re dark inside
There’s more to you than the pain that you’re trying to hide
You say you like to party, that’s your choice
But there’s a lot more you can say with your voice
[Dani]
You think it’s all about what it looks like
You want the world to know what you look like
But what your life is, that’s what really counts
Its okay if they find out
[Lisa]
You’re not okay
You’ve lost your way
You’ve got bills to pay
You’ve had a long hard day
You don’t feel right
In this pointless fight
So give it up
This is your life
[Katherine]
There’s more to you than the fact that you think you’re tough
There’s more to you on the days when you’ve had enough
I know you wanna push everyone away
But that’s only gonna cause you more pain
[Lauren]
‘Cause you don’t have to do everything on your own
You’ve been going through a lot, all alone
You don’t have to feel this forever
You’ve gotta tell them the truth
[Lisa]
You’re not okay
You’ve lost your way
You’ve got bills to pay
You’ve had a long hard day
You don’t feel right
In this pointless fight
So give it up
This is your life
[Amy]
You’re beautiful in more ways than you think
Even when your lips aren’t a pretty pink
You’re special
You matter
People care that you’re not okay
[Christina]
You deserve te love you’ve been searching for
Lying hopeless on your bedroom floor
Open up that beautiful heart
Let the sun at your face
[Lauren]
You’ll be okay
You’ll find your way
These things will change
You’ll have your day
[Lisa]
You’ll be alright
You’ll win this fight
Give up the game
Take back your life
[All]
You’re beautiful in more ways than you think
Even when your lips aren’t a pretty pink
You’re special
You matter
People care that you’re not okay
You deserve te love you’ve been searching for
Lying hopeless on your bedroom floor
Open up that beautiful heart
Let the sun at your face
I entered class today hoping I did well on my module 2.2 test, and I didn’t *just* do well, I rocked it!!! I went from 79% for module 2.1, to 92% for module 2.2. Is this really happening? Can someone pinch me, please? Because, it truly doesn’t seem real to me… at all… *screams at the top of my lungs,* like I’ve already done, about 20 times since I got home.
Is this really real? Yes, it is… but I still am shocked about it. This means, two units down, seven units to go. Mr. Bonnici, you can suck it… ok? Go back to teaching school, because I’m learning better here, with a tutor, than with you. Sorry, but not so sorry.
That’s truly why this mark surprises me, because it is way better than a 50%… way better!!! I almost had to take a double-take, when I got my mark today. Did I just do this? Yes. Whoa!!!
My tutor is awesome though, He Faithifies concepts for a me, for a me to actually get, and grasp. Who does that? My tutor!!! Teach, Forrest, teach!!! That is in place of… fill in the blank…
Run, Forrest, run!!!
On that note, I have two last things. Firstly:
*Screams, and jumps up and down.*
Secondly:
I’m more 100% thrilled, but in case you didn’t notice, that was a play on words.
Now, off to do a lot of the same thing I’ve been doing, jumping, running, and screaming with excitement!!!
So, some of you may know, or may not know, or remember that I really struggled with math in high school. I’ve come to realize now, that if directed properly, and understood properly, I do much better… 79% better, to be exact. Now, that was only for the first module, 2.1, in Fundamental Math. I get to start module 2.2 on Monday when I start actual class.
Within the two week, Goal Orientation, I was able to complete the full book, which is why I did my test today for it, and no, I didn’t just barely pass this test either. I passed it with a 79%!! Wait… what? Colour me shocked!!!
This weekend, since I am not starting anything new, is gonna be a celebration weekend for me. Most definitely!!! No question about it!!! I wish I could show you an example of the awesome!!!
I still cannot believe I did so well, and it is only module 1!!!! Let’s see how the other ones go. The second module, 2.2, is decimals. I am so happy with this so far! Now, keep in mind, I still don’t like math, but definitely getting it a lot better now. Mr. Bonnicci, learn how to teach math, and not just ramble on about it. But since someone is now, then that’s what counts!!!
Again, so unbelievably happy!!! Oh… my… goodness… ahhhhhhhhh!!!
*Does a Dance.*
Oh, one more thing… I also have tutoring set up to help me… yay!!!
I’m sitting here, or I have been, thinking exactly that… exactly this blog title. Why? Well, finally starting in the direction of nursing, hopefully. I’m gonna definitely try, at least. Absolutely!! I need to redo grade 11 college math because I only got a 50%, and I need a 60% or higher to get into the General Arts and Science – Pre-Nursing program.
Here’s the two-part kicker:
I don’t do well with math as it is, and I’ve always struggled with it.
For academic upgrading, I’d need a 75% or higher to pass the units.
A question you are probably asking is, do I really wanna go through with this? Yes, as insane as I am, yes. I really enjoy the medical field… just didn’t know you need better math for it. I’m still cringing about that, but I’ll get through it.
Yet again, I think, until I realize I’ve made it through this, and well, I’m always gonna ask that question… academic upgrading? Me? Math?
That is me now. This song has always been an inspiration for me, but more so today. This is my life. I take it back. I fix me, and no one else has to. That’s why I wrote the lyrics o fit me, and my life. It’s, my, life! Grabbing a hold of it right now.
Starting off with doing exactly what I am doing now, writing. I love to write, and I don’t do it enough. I will get my life back. It is my life!!
For the actual lyrics, I will post them here as well.
