Hello Beautiful!

I’ve been figuring out lately, with help, that I need to get myself out there more, even if it means I may get hurt. My only worry with that, was that if that happened again, I wouldn’t know how to pick myself up from that. Though, if I don’t try, I’ll miss out, so this is what I am learning.

I met two people at a birthday party I went to, and realized very quickly that these people seemed real, genuine, and patient. With them, I actually feel more confident with myself. Interesting how that happens, right?

Since I’ve stared actually getting to know them, I knew I wouldn’t be the only one that would keep this friendship afloat. That’s definitely odd for me, but I like it. Actually, I love it.

Silvana has really boosted my confidence in the outward appearance front. She, and her partner Eric are who I’ve been speaking of. I never thought that maybe perfume, or even makeup (if my skin can tolerate it), could get me out there so much. Apparently so.

I was at the Rideau Centre here in Ottawa, and for some reason, I had MercyMe‘s song, “Hello Beautiful” stuck in my head. I’m not usually one to indulge in perfume, unless it is vanilla. Since I’m starting to gain more confidence, I told myself to think outside my comfort zone. I found three perfumes I liked, Japanese Cherry Blossom, Magic in the Air, and who knew, a perfume called, Hello Beautiful. It was like the song that was stuck in my head was trying to tell me something, so, since there was a deal, I got all three.

Years ago, I wouldn’t have done that. At least, not to this extent. I figured I was confident before, but now I know for sure what *confidence* is. Since then, when I feel like I want to, I wear one, of the three perfumes. And, I actually take the time for myself, even if is just to gain my confidence more.

For example, the day of my friend’s housewarming party, she asked if she could do my hair, and I said sure. That was step one.

Another example, this past Saturday, I went to a Halloween dance with them, and she did my hair again. This time, she curled it. She also, even though she was nervous a little about my skin reacting to it, did my makeup. Her products isn’t react at all. Wait, what? Is this me?

Now I take with pride when I hear, “Hello Beautiful.”

Another thing that contributes to my newly-found self-confidence is a song off of Cimorelli‘s latest album that came out on October 27th, called Sad Girls Club. The actual song I am referring to is called, Pretty Pink. This song literally describes my past life, and the life I’m making for myself.

Hello Beautiful – Lyrics

[Verse 1]
No more
I quit
I’ve had enough
I wasn’t made for this
To all the lies that have tried
To cripple me with doubt
I think it’s time to say goodbye
I know who I am now
Part of me says I’d be
Smart to walk away
But before I leave, I think I need
To call you out by name

[Chorus]
Goodbye regret
Goodbye alone
Goodbye to emptiness
Say hello to beautiful
Goodbye afraid
Goodbye ashamed
Goodbye to hopelessness
Say hello to beautiful

[Verse 2]
Can you hear it
That’s the sound of me walking out
Of this prison cell
That I’ve come to know so well
I used to play the victim, singing
Take these chains from me
But they have long been broken
I was free and would not leave
Somehow I got too comfortable
Locked up here in this prison
That I missed the doors wide open
More like ripped off of its hinges

[Chorus]
Goodbye regret
Goodbye alone
(Goodbye)
Goodbye to emptiness
Say hello to beautiful
(Beautiful)
Goodbye afraid
Goodbye ashamed
Goodbye to hopelessness
Say hello to beautiful

[Bridge]
Hello, hello, hello beautiful
Hello, hello, hello beautiful
Hello, hello, hello beautiful
Hello, hello, hello beautiful

[Verse 3]
Before I go, just so you know
There will come days again
Wrestling not to believe
The things you say I am
When I’ve forgotten what’s inside
And who I’m meant to be
I remember what’s inside
Has not forgotten me

[Chorus]
Goodbye regret
Goodbye alone
Goodbye to emptiness
Say hello to beautiful
Goodbye afraid
Goodbye ashamed
Goodbye to hopelessness
Say hello to beautiful
(To beautiful)

[Outro]
Hello, hello, hello beautiful
Hello, hello, hello beautiful
(Beautiful)
Hello, hello, hello beautiful
Hello, hello, hello beautiful

Hello Beautiful – Song

Pretty Pink – Lyrics

[Amy]
There’s more to you than the fact that you’re dark inside
There’s more to you than the pain that you’re trying to hide
You say you like to party, that’s your choice
But there’s a lot more you can say with your voice

[Dani]
You think it’s all about what it looks like
You want the world to know what you look like
But what your life is, that’s what really counts
Its okay if they find out

[Lisa]
You’re not okay
You’ve lost your way
You’ve got bills to pay
You’ve had a long hard day
You don’t feel right
In this pointless fight
So give it up
This is your life

[Katherine]
There’s more to you than the fact that you think you’re tough
There’s more to you on the days when you’ve had enough
I know you wanna push everyone away
But that’s only gonna cause you more pain

[Lauren]
‘Cause you don’t have to do everything on your own
You’ve been going through a lot, all alone
You don’t have to feel this forever
You’ve gotta tell them the truth

[Lisa]
You’re not okay
You’ve lost your way
You’ve got bills to pay
You’ve had a long hard day
You don’t feel right
In this pointless fight
So give it up
This is your life

[Amy]
You’re beautiful in more ways than you think
Even when your lips aren’t a pretty pink
You’re special
You matter
People care that you’re not okay

[Christina]
You deserve te love you’ve been searching for
Lying hopeless on your bedroom floor
Open up that beautiful heart
Let the sun at your face

[Lauren]
You’ll be okay
You’ll find your way
These things will change
You’ll have your day

[Lisa]
You’ll be alright
You’ll win this fight
Give up the game
Take back your life

[All]
You’re beautiful in more ways than you think
Even when your lips aren’t a pretty pink
You’re special
You matter
People care that you’re not okay

You deserve te love you’ve been searching for
Lying hopeless on your bedroom floor
Open up that beautiful heart
Let the sun at your face

Pretty Pink – Song

I’m gaining confidence in me!!

I am Officially 92% Thrilled!!

I entered class today hoping I did well on my module 2.2 test, and I didn’t *just* do well, I rocked it!!! I went from 79% for module 2.1, to 92% for module 2.2. Is this really happening? Can someone pinch me, please? Because, it truly doesn’t seem real to me… at all… *screams at the top of my lungs,* like I’ve already done, about 20 times since I got home.

Is this really real? Yes, it is… but I still am shocked about it. This means, two units down, seven units to go. Mr. Bonnici, you can suck it… ok? Go back to teaching school, because I’m learning better here, with a tutor, than with you. Sorry, but not so sorry.

That’s truly why this mark surprises me, because it is way better than a 50%… way better!!! I almost had to take a double-take, when I got my mark today. Did I just do this? Yes. Whoa!!!

My tutor is awesome though, He Faithifies concepts for a me, for a me to actually get, and grasp. Who does that? My tutor!!! Teach, Forrest, teach!!! That is in place of… fill in the blank…

Run, Forrest, run!!!

On that note, I have two last things. Firstly:

  • *Screams, and jumps up and down.*

Secondly:

  • I’m more 100% thrilled, but in case you didn’t notice, that was a play on words.

Now, off to do a lot of the same thing I’ve been doing, jumping, running, and screaming with excitement!!!

I Passed My First Math Test!!! Hello 79%!!!! What?

So, some of you may know, or may not know, or remember that I really struggled with math in high school. I’ve come to realize now, that if directed properly, and understood properly, I do much better… 79% better, to be exact. Now, that was only for the first module, 2.1, in Fundamental Math. I get to start module 2.2 on Monday when I start actual class.

Within the two week, Goal Orientation, I was able to complete the full book, which is why I did my test today for it, and no, I didn’t just barely pass this test either. I passed it with a 79%!! Wait… what? Colour me shocked!!!

This weekend, since I am not starting anything new, is gonna be a celebration weekend for me. Most definitely!!! No question about it!!! I wish I could show you an example of the awesome!!!

I still cannot believe I did so well, and it is only module 1!!!! Let’s see how the other ones go. The second module, 2.2, is decimals. I am so happy with this so far! Now, keep in mind, I still don’t like math, but definitely getting it a lot better now. Mr. Bonnicci, learn how to teach math, and not just ramble on about it. But since someone is now, then that’s what counts!!!

Again, so unbelievably happy!!! Oh… my… goodness… ahhhhhhhhh!!!

*Does a Dance.*

Oh, one more thing… I also have tutoring set up to help me… yay!!!

Anyway, onto the next module!!!

Bring on the math!!!!

 

Academic Upgrading? Me? Math? Yes, indeed!

I’m sitting here, or I have been, thinking exactly that… exactly this blog title. Why? Well, finally starting in the direction of nursing, hopefully. I’m gonna definitely try, at least. Absolutely!! I need to redo grade 11 college math because I only got a 50%, and I need a 60% or higher to get into the General Arts and Science – Pre-Nursing program.

Here’s the two-part kicker:

  1. I don’t do well with math as it is, and I’ve always struggled with it.
  2. For academic upgrading, I’d need a 75% or higher to pass the units.

A question you are probably asking is, do I really wanna go through with this? Yes, as insane as I am, yes. I really enjoy the medical field… just didn’t know you need better math for it. I’m still cringing about that, but I’ll get through it.

Yet again, I think, until I realize I’ve made it through this, and well, I’m always gonna ask that question… academic upgrading? Me? Math?

Yes, indeed!!

It’s My Life

This is the moment

It’s on the line.

Which way am I gonna fall?

In the Middle between

Wrong and right

But I know after all

 

It’s my life

What am I going to do?

The world is watching me

Every day, the choices I make

Say what I am and who my heart beats for

It’s an open door

It’s my life.

 

Am I who I always said I would be?

With a sinking feeling in my chest

Always waiting for someone else to fix me

When did I forget?

 

It’s my life

What am I going to do?

The world is watching me

Every day, the choices I make

Say what I am and who my heart beats for

It’s an open door

It’s my life.

 

To live the way that I believe

This is my opportunity 

To let my life be one that lights the way.

 

It’s my life

What am I going to do?

The world is watching me

Every day, the choices I make

Say what I am and who my heart beats for

It’s an open door

It’s my life. o

 

That is me now. This song has always been an inspiration for me, but more so today. This is my life. I take it back. I fix me, and no one else has to. That’s why I wrote the lyrics o fit me, and my life. It’s, my, life! Grabbing a hold of it right now.

Starting off with doing exactly what I am doing now, writing. I love to write, and I don’t do it enough. I will get my life back. It is my life!!

For the actual lyrics, I will post them here as well.

It’s Your Life – by Francesca Battistelli

It’s my life!

Is It Time for Class Yet?

I’m finally getting all of my medical stuff in order, and it truly feels wonderful to do just that. I’m getting a power wheelchair, and now comes the next focal point in my life… heading back to college.

I’m actually at the college now, and it feels like I should be in class already. Only thing, I have no class presently. This is why I’m gonna change that for next September. Gonna do all the asking of questions so I know exactly where I am at, and what I am getting into. Being at the college excites me. Makes me wish I had something to do, i.e. classes and what not, but… not quite yet.

Planning on applying to Algonquin College’s Recreation and Leisure Services Program in February, once I make sure I ask all the right questions and get the ball rolling. Next stop in Faithie’s Life Steps? School!

I cannot wait!!!

 

It’s Happening!!

It’s happening!!

I now have my rental power chair!!! What does this mean? I’m getting closer to my own power chair!!! Yes!!! After I got my rental, both Laura and Marie had scheduled to come see me this past Tuesday.

Here is a picture of me in my rental power chair>

faithies-rental-power-chair

Just after Laura and Marie came on Tuesday, I prepared an indoor video of me using my power chair. I uploaded it to YouTube, and I plan to show it here.

Faithful Portrait – Power Wheelchair Demo – Inside

I plan on uploading an outdoor video of me in my chair, and everything I do outdoors in it.

It is happening!!! Filled out the ADP forms on Tuesday with Laura and Marie, along with taking proper measurements. Now I am one step closer to my own power chair!!! At least I get to keep this chair until the other chair is ready for me. So stoked!!

I will keep you posted on this journey!

♿️ Electric Princess ♿️

Second Power Chair Trial Completed! – Rental Power Chair in My Future?

Just completed my second power chair trial this morning with Marie, the ADP authorizer. Of course, like the last one, it went so well. By the end of it, it was decided that Emily, the person from OMS, would bring out a rental chair for me to use, with one final step.

Sometime next week, Laura, my OT, and Marie, another OT/ADP authorizer, will come out to tackle traffic, pedestrians, and all that to see how that goes. If that is successful, the rental is mine to use until the funding comes in for my actual power chair.

Is it that time yet?

I’m way too impatient!!

I so can’t wait to ace that test too!! I can, and I will!!

Until next time…

First Trial Completed – Now a Waiting Game Once Again!

So, as I expected, I was super excited for my trial with a power wheelchair yesterday, and it went well!! I think I shocked my OT, Laura, and the person who brought the chair out, Emily. They both were rather impressed.

I firstly traveled in my house, and they both said that’s usually the trickiest part. Then I proceeded to outside, and went down my sidewalk, tested the bumpiest sidewalk from hell, is what I call it without a power chair. I am surprised at awesome I did with that.

Here’s proof of said awesome trial!! Super stoked!!

Faith in Power Chair

Next step:

Laura and Emily are gonna come back out with the ADP authorizer, Marie, and gonna do another trial. I so can’t wait for that!!! Can it come now, please?

Please… now…

This particular blog is done.