I’ve been figuring out lately, with help, that I need to get myself out there more, even if it means I may get hurt. My only worry with that, was that if that happened again, I wouldn’t know how to pick myself up from that. Though, if I don’t try, I’ll miss out, so this is what I am learning.

I met two people at a birthday party I went to, and realized very quickly that these people seemed real, genuine, and patient. With them, I actually feel more confident with myself. Interesting how that happens, right?

Since I’ve stared actually getting to know them, I knew I wouldn’t be the only one that would keep this friendship afloat. That’s definitely odd for me, but I like it. Actually, I love it.

Silvana has really boosted my confidence in the outward appearance front. She, and her partner Eric are who I’ve been speaking of. I never thought that maybe perfume, or even makeup (if my skin can tolerate it), could get me out there so much. Apparently so.

I was at the Rideau Centre here in Ottawa, and for some reason, I had MercyMe‘s song, “Hello Beautiful” stuck in my head. I’m not usually one to indulge in perfume, unless it is vanilla. Since I’m starting to gain more confidence, I told myself to think outside my comfort zone. I found three perfumes I liked, Japanese Cherry Blossom, Magic in the Air, and who knew, a perfume called, Hello Beautiful. It was like the song that was stuck in my head was trying to tell me something, so, since there was a deal, I got all three.

Years ago, I wouldn’t have done that. At least, not to this extent. I figured I was confident before, but now I know for sure what *confidence* is. Since then, when I feel like I want to, I wear one, of the three perfumes. And, I actually take the time for myself, even if is just to gain my confidence more.

For example, the day of my friend’s housewarming party, she asked if she could do my hair, and I said sure. That was step one.

Another example, this past Saturday, I went to a Halloween dance with them, and she did my hair again. This time, she curled it. She also, even though she was nervous a little about my skin reacting to it, did my makeup. Her products isn’t react at all. Wait, what? Is this me?

Now I take with pride when I hear, “Hello Beautiful.”

Another thing that contributes to my newly-found self-confidence is a song off of Cimorelli‘s latest album that came out on October 27th, called Sad Girls Club. The actual song I am referring to is called, Pretty Pink. This song literally describes my past life, and the life I’m making for myself.

Hello Beautiful – Lyrics

[Verse 1]
No more
I quit
I’ve had enough
I wasn’t made for this
To all the lies that have tried
To cripple me with doubt
I think it’s time to say goodbye
I know who I am now
Part of me says I’d be
Smart to walk away
But before I leave, I think I need
To call you out by name

[Chorus]
Goodbye regret
Goodbye alone
Goodbye to emptiness
Say hello to beautiful
Goodbye afraid
Goodbye ashamed
Goodbye to hopelessness
Say hello to beautiful

[Verse 2]
Can you hear it
That’s the sound of me walking out
Of this prison cell
That I’ve come to know so well
I used to play the victim, singing
Take these chains from me
But they have long been broken
I was free and would not leave
Somehow I got too comfortable
Locked up here in this prison
That I missed the doors wide open
More like ripped off of its hinges

[Chorus]
Goodbye regret
Goodbye alone
(Goodbye)
Goodbye to emptiness
Say hello to beautiful
(Beautiful)
Goodbye afraid
Goodbye ashamed
Goodbye to hopelessness
Say hello to beautiful

[Bridge]
Hello, hello, hello beautiful
Hello, hello, hello beautiful
Hello, hello, hello beautiful
Hello, hello, hello beautiful

[Verse 3]
Before I go, just so you know
There will come days again
Wrestling not to believe
The things you say I am
When I’ve forgotten what’s inside
And who I’m meant to be
I remember what’s inside
Has not forgotten me

[Chorus]
Goodbye regret
Goodbye alone
Goodbye to emptiness
Say hello to beautiful
Goodbye afraid
Goodbye ashamed
Goodbye to hopelessness
Say hello to beautiful
(To beautiful)

[Outro]
Hello, hello, hello beautiful
Hello, hello, hello beautiful
(Beautiful)
Hello, hello, hello beautiful
Hello, hello, hello beautiful

Hello Beautiful – Song

Pretty Pink – Lyrics

[Amy]
There’s more to you than the fact that you’re dark inside
There’s more to you than the pain that you’re trying to hide
You say you like to party, that’s your choice
But there’s a lot more you can say with your voice

[Dani]
You think it’s all about what it looks like
You want the world to know what you look like
But what your life is, that’s what really counts
Its okay if they find out

[Lisa]
You’re not okay
You’ve lost your way
You’ve got bills to pay
You’ve had a long hard day
You don’t feel right
In this pointless fight
So give it up
This is your life

[Katherine]
There’s more to you than the fact that you think you’re tough
There’s more to you on the days when you’ve had enough
I know you wanna push everyone away
But that’s only gonna cause you more pain

[Lauren]
‘Cause you don’t have to do everything on your own
You’ve been going through a lot, all alone
You don’t have to feel this forever
You’ve gotta tell them the truth

[Lisa]
You’re not okay
You’ve lost your way
You’ve got bills to pay
You’ve had a long hard day
You don’t feel right
In this pointless fight
So give it up
This is your life

[Amy]
You’re beautiful in more ways than you think
Even when your lips aren’t a pretty pink
You’re special
You matter
People care that you’re not okay

[Christina]
You deserve te love you’ve been searching for
Lying hopeless on your bedroom floor
Open up that beautiful heart
Let the sun at your face

[Lauren]
You’ll be okay
You’ll find your way
These things will change
You’ll have your day

[Lisa]
You’ll be alright
You’ll win this fight
Give up the game
Take back your life

[All]
You’re beautiful in more ways than you think
Even when your lips aren’t a pretty pink
You’re special
You matter
People care that you’re not okay

You deserve te love you’ve been searching for
Lying hopeless on your bedroom floor
Open up that beautiful heart
Let the sun at your face

Pretty Pink – Song

I’m gaining confidence in me!!