Year 2
M-A-R-C-O
Murderous, Asshole, Raging, Calice, Offspring
“Marco!” I cried.
“What now?” Marco hissed. “I can’t believe Izzy’s so hostile towards someone that used to be her best friend!”
“Well she is crippled now!” I sneered through my teeth.
“Suzy, we know this!” Marco retorted.
I couldn’t believe I lost my best friend, but I did. She’s a cripple and all now. What’s the use of debating it? I am dating the most wonderful person, a senior, Marco. Izzy never forgave Marco for the accident, so in turn, I never returned her friendship. Now she was friends with Rosemunde? Really?
It seemed that Tony and Deborah went to the cripple’s aid too. It’s hard to stomach, seriously! Marco is my life now, no matter the stupid mishap that happened. She’s just a cripple… that’s all. Never to return to cheerleading again
… oh well… they won’t miss her.
Her new idiot group is purely that… idiots. I can’t, and I wouldn’t sympathize with her now. I loved Marco, Marco did no wrong. I love him. Am I refrained from that?
“Suzy,” Marco began. “Don’t worry about her now!”
“I know,” I replied. “She is as cold hearted as they come now. Why should I care now?”
“I ask that of you all the time,” Marco criticized.
I hugged him then. I noticed a flicker in his eye. We headed back to my house, although my mother disapproved of Marco. I didn’t care. I really loved him, did happiness matter to them? I guess not. Marco decided he wanted to take me outside, somewhere away from my house, a party maybe. John Wintersize was hosting a party again, and I was going, no matter what mama hen said.
My mother scowled at us as we left the house again. Marco drove us to John’s house. It was nice to be surrounded by non-people praising people. Lauren and Lisa were there. I was glad to see them. Marco was already drinking his first beer, the first beer of several to come. I liked when he drank, dunno why, but I did.
Marco had his arm around me most of the night, well, except for getting another beer– one after the other. Mother hen wanted me home by 2am, didn’t really want to obey, but I had to.
Marco sped down the highway, swerving. He was losing control. Why couldn’t I see the camaraderie between Izzy’s and my scenarios– they matched. How could this be happening to me? I hoped I didn’t die, or even Marco. We sped so fast, swerving, twisting, crashing, dying?
****
I lay awake, in a hospital? Why was I in hospital? Where was Marco? I opened my eyes to 2 IVs, one in each arm. I also saw a heart monitor, keeping tabs on my heart. My mother was beside me, or I thought she was. Where’s Marco? Did he make it unscathed? I saw a wary look on my mother’s face. She was contemplating something.
“Suzy,” my mother said gravely.
“What?” I said, frantic. “What’s going on?”
“Well,” she began. Well, um, Marco didn’t survive this…”
I cried with no control stopping me. He didn’t make it. Why did this have to happen, to me? I kept shaking, convulsing, quivering with the uncontrolled sobs that wrenched from my chest, a whole, permanent scar there. I sunk deeper…
Deeper…
Deeper… into that black whole…
****
“Izzy!” I called down the school hallway. “Wait up!”
“Why should I wait up for you?” Izzy snarled. “You are useless to me! I have zero sympathy!”
“I’m sorry,” I sobbed. “Please forgive me!”
“Why should I?” Izzy hissed.
“I understand you,” I said. “Seeing the world through your eyes now, I get it.”
“Prove it!” Izzy snarled. “You are far too late! Go cry to your clan!”
I was alone… more alone than people knew. Lauren and Lisa were very distant from me too. I guess I’m really without anyone… getting a taste of my own, and Marco’s all in one, sucks. In the accident, I sustained minor injuries. Well, minor enough, compared to death. Anything’s better than death.
I lay awake that night, grieving. My mother really wasn’t happy with me, more aloneness. I was surrounded by aloneness on all sides. I just lay there, sobbing. Mourning without anyone comforting is my fault, yes. Oh well… I deserved it. I really, truly, deserved it. Ugh, if I only had people in my support system. Due to my prone self idiocy, I’m left without Marco. I’m left without my supports. My fault!
Everyone at school glared at me now. It was disconcerting. I did deserve it, all. I kept on walking, my eyes to the floor, not bothering to meet people’s glares. I felt guilty enough without needing the glares to back it up. I had no one, no one at all. Oh well, do I deserve a life? Sure, I do… right. A life in pure solitary confinement.